The Elite is a group of guys I've
dubbed The Elite based on their tight knit group and special
“privileges.” These are the guys who can get away with anything
and have everything. Dreds, the block representative, this the go to
guy and has been here for over 3 years. It's his job to facilitate
communication between the outside would (outside of the block) and
our block. The Elite includes Dreds, Turtle, Uncle, Chris, Specs,
T-Lo, and Big Retard. Of these guys, Dreds, Turtle, Uncle, and Chris
are the A-Listers. They get to stay out of their cells longest. Sure
they're cleaning the day room, but when they're done, they're usually
still watching TV or arguing some stupid point.
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
I watched an episode of Anderson Cooper
during morning rec about bullying. It was good. Teenwolf was really
into it. Aside from myself, he's the only other person always glued
to the TV. Big Retard came over to watch for a minute.
“What's this about bullying?” He
asked. I nodded. “Man, these niggas need to grow some balls!” He
scoffed and then walked away. I was furious. Little shithead bullies
turn into big shitheads like him. Comments like that are what got him
the name Big Retard from me. My first day on the block, he asked me
who as next to come over because he was due for a new cell mate soon.
“An older Hispanic man named Pappi
and a young guy named Brooklyn.” I said.
“Is the young guy black or white,”
he asked.
“Black.”
“Oh cuz I don't want an old dickhead
as a celly.”
Pappi was far from a dickhead. Besides,
they both never came over. The TV cut out 5 minutes before lock up
like always and hindered ups from seeing the final deal on Let's Make
a Deal. It didn't matter. A loud disturbance upstairs caught
everyone's attention.
“Fuck this! No fucking way! I'm sick
of this Bullshit!
I looked up. Dad 2 was storming down
the hall of the top tier and Big Retard behind him.
“You have no fucking reason to be in
MY cell going through my celly's stuff!. Dad2 screamed as he ran down
the stairs. “This is the LAST fucking time you steal something!”
I was taken aback but others watched as if this either always happens
or was bound to happen. Dad2 was on a war path. He kicked a trash can
and then kicked the main door. People were waving to the bubble to
get someone's attention.
“White shirt! White shirt!”W.M
said tugging on his white undershirt.
A white shirt is the Sargent -the big
boss. Everyone watched as Dad2 continued to scream while 6 C.Os
charged out of the bubble and down to 10A.
“He's stealing my shit! I saw him!”
He screamed at one of the C.Os.
“I'm going to need you to stop
screaming at me.” Snapped one of the C.Os.
“I'm sorry I just....ARG! He's a
thief!”
Dad 2 screamed pointing at Big Retard
who was now standing by his cell anticipating the C.Os next move.
“EVERYONE LOCKED IN!” the C.O
yelled.
All the on lookers scurried to their
cells and stood at the window to watch the drama. As I went to mine,
I was stopped.
“You! Pack all your things. He needs
to be alone for a while.”
Shit!. My single room was now gone.
The C.Os were busy tearing s cell apart.
“Look at all these fucking playing
cards.” One of the C.Os said. “That's a lot of fucking cards for
someone who doesn't get commissary.”
Another C.O was questioning Big Retard.
“What were you doing in his cell
while Dad1 was sleeping?”
“Trying to wake him up.” He said,
obviously lying.
“Wu huh,” the skeptical C.O said,
“then why were you in his drawer?”
“To get batteries.”
“You're not a very good bullshitter
are you?”
Big retard turned his head in
frustration and shame. The C.Os kept throwing cards on the table.
“Woah! Look what we've got here!
Some blues!” A C.O said pulling out a blue uniform. “Blues!?”
What're you doing, trying to escape? You're not supposed to have
these. Where'd you get 'em?” Big retard said nothing. All the C.Os
turned to his cellmate, Knots, a new guy standing to the side. Knots
started to step forward.
“Stay right where you are,” the
C.O yelled, “How'd he get the blues?”
“I don't know. I guess I left them
there.” Knots answered sheepishly.
Oh god, this guy was going to be my new
cell mate. I'm not sure why he lied. Like me, he was most likely sent
to 8 first in blues and them classified in greens. You're supposed to
hand over your blues to avoid a situation like this.
“Why didn't you turn them in?
“I dunno.”
“Uh huh. Trying to escape? I could
get you 2 for trying to escape. All I need are these blues as
evidence.”
“But I wasn't!” Knots said
paranoid.
“Yeah, whatever. Pack your shit!,”
the C.O said to Big Retard, “you're going to solitary.”
At this point, I'm the only person,
aside from Knots, still in the day room. I looked around and saw
everyone watching from their cells. Big Retard grabbed his stuff and
locked himself in his new cell. I went into my new cell and it was a
mess. Papers, playing cards, and for some reason lots of tiny little
pencils. If tiny golf pencils were currency, Big Retard would have
been rich. Knots ignored the mess and went back on the top bunk. I
got the bottom because Big Retard had it (note: I realized during my
stay there that this is rare. Usually when one cell mate leaves,
whomever has the top bunk usually then takes the bottom). I sighed
and began cleaning. There was so much going on in the cell. The
plethora of batteries killed Big Retards battery story. There were so
many golf pencils that were either stolen or obtained with the little
pull he had as an Elite. There were shampoo bottles filled with what
I hope was some kind of cleaning liquid (Note: I later learned that
every few weeks a bucket of bleach is brought in for inmates to clean
with). He had a crap ton of books including an advance book of chess.
I had a hard time decoding page 1 and he was on chapter 23. There was
a make sift calender “glued” to the wall with toothpaste and lots
of combs and hair grease.
Knots didn't speak. At all. He just sat
on his bed staring at nothing. He was a young 22 year old black guy.
He had many tattoos and his hair was knotted in twists that obviously
should have come out a week ago. He was suffering from slight gay
face which didn't help later rumors about us.
“What's your name?” I asked trying
to break the silence.
“Knots.”
We really had nothing else to say to
each other.
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
At Lunch, everyone was buzzing about
what happened between Dad2 and Big Retard. Big Retard was on lock
down, so he had to eat in his cell.
“They said I should have closed the
door and beat the shit outta him.” Dad2 said through his long
greasy thinning hair and glasses, “but what's the point? He's
bigger than me. Plus it would have been pointless.”
“Did he take anything,” W.M asked.
“Nope. It seems like he grabbed some
soup, saw me coming and put it back. Dad1 keeps everything lined up
but it was all out of order. He said he was trying to wake you up.”
“Yeah by going thorugh my stuff,
“Dad1 said behind his slicked back hair and well groomed beard.
“He said he needed batteries,” I
said. Why'd I open my mouth? I was gossiping. But for some reason, I
didn't care. I was socializing and it felt good. I think I wanted
W.M, Dad1, and Dad2 to know I was on their side and not Big Retard's.
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
Mikai came up to me during afternoon
rec.
“Man, that's some fucked up shit.
It's not the first time he's been stealing. I told you you gotta
watch out for him and that little retard.” Mika and both saw Little
Retard “sneak” into Wheel's cell and “sneak” out a few days
ago.
“He's an Elite so he probably did it
knowing no one would tell on him,” I said.
“What the fuck is an Elite,” Mikai
asked, I don't know how I expected him to know that.
“Now they got you in there with his
'How you Doin' celly.” (For anyone who doesn't know, when Wendy
Williams used to describe gay people, she'd use her catch phrase 'How
you doin').
“He's not gay, Mikai,” I told him.
“Mmhmm watch ya ass! I don't care if
anyone is gay. Just come out and say it and don't try to act all
macho like my 'how you doin' celly talkin about football and shit.”
Oh my god Mikai, you can be gay and
like football.
Mikai is 47 and still thinks most gays
are like Lamborghini.
“This is prison. There are reasons
for keeping it quiet,” I said. Even though he's irritating, I did
trust him. I was tempted to come out but I couldn't find a rational
enough reason to.
