It was day three, and we were still stuck in booking. Worker inmates were running around cleaning to make things perfect for the inspection. Meanwhile, we got a new cellmate, Poppi. Poppi was an older Hispanic man who didn’t speak much. He could speak English well, but his accent was so thick, it was hard to understand him.
I gave up my spot on the bench so he wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor, and I laid down and slept on the floor instead, next to the covered pee hole, because there was no more room. At one point, when I asked to go to the bathroom, Hard Ass told me to use the one in the cell.
“There’s a blanket over it for a reason. Plus, I sleep right there.”
Hard Ass looked at the blanket, rolled his eyes, and said, “Hold on.”
While sitting and talking, a group of well-dressed people were walking down the hall, talking to the C.O.s.
“How long is your intake process?”, one of the well-dressed people asked.
“24 to 48 hours”, the C.O. lied.
We were on 72.
The C.O.s were trying to be on their best behavior, so there was no horseplay, inappropriate comments, or the like. The C.O.s came and checked on us a few times, and let us out to use the bathroom They also finally let us make phone calls. I managed to call my mom, but the call wouldn’t go through.
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
The conversation shifted to the universe, something I love talking about. Brooklyn wanted to know why Pluto wasn’t a planet anymore, and I talked about the little I know about what makes a planet a planet.
“Well, why can’t we get to Mars?”, he asked.
I’d watched a special some time ago about time travel, and it mentioned why a manned Mars missions is close to impossible without killing us. They were baffled. I geeked out more and talked about how the last crew just flew into space to repair the Hubble telescope, and how there was a new, bigger telescope in the works. I explained how those telescopes can look into the past, and how scientists hope to be able to see the actual big bang, or at least part of it.
“The universe is so massive,” I explained with excitement, “We’re just a pale, blue dot, against a black backdrop, like Carl Sagan says!” I started to gush about Sagan, but I saved them the information overload.
“Is there life on other planets?”
“Of course! But it probably wouldn’t be the kind of life we’ve been conditioned to, such as aliens with big heads and big eyes.”
“Man, ain’t no aliens out there!”, Mikai interjected.
“Well, can you explain how black holes are formed?,” Brooklyn asked in his line of spitfire questioning.
“When objects with lots of mass implode on themselves, black holes are formed.”
“But I thought they were only a theory.”
“Not really. It’s true we’ll never get close enough to see one, but they’re there.”
“Do you think we evolved?”
“Yeah…”
“I gotta stop you there, dude”, Mikai interrupted,” Evolution is only a theory. I didn’t come from a monkey.”
“How do you explain that?”, Brooklyn asked.
“Well, first of all, evolution theory refers to the study of evolution, just like music theory. Secondly, we come from chimpanzees, not monkeys.”, I said, remembering the famous “Why we still got monkeys” comment Steve Harvey made, and a lecture I saw by Richard Dawkins on YouTube.
“We share a common ancestor, but the evolutionary branch broke off into two: Homo Erectus and apes.”
“This is all too much for my brain. Future telescopes and aliens and shit,” Brooklyn said.
“The universe is great, massive and random!”, I exclaimed.
We talked until we got to the subject of Obama, when I had to remind myself I was talking to two black men, who were most likely huge Obama fans. I, on the other hand, am not the man’s biggest fan.
“Obama is probably the best president we’ve had. Bush fucked up and then blamed the budget crisis on Obama”, Mikai proclaimed.
“Well, Obama bailed out the big banks and auto industry, so he’s just as guilty. Businesses should be allowed to fail on their own. There! I said it, and that’s all I’m going to say!”
“Man, he had to do that to save us!”, Mikai said.
“Not true. So many big businesses went out of business within the last two years. The president would laugh if Blockbuster asked for a bail out. He’s not this 'save all' saint the media makes him out to be.”
“He’s amazing! What are you talking about!?”, Mikai screamed.
“We’re fighting an unconstitutional war against Libya right now! He’s starting to look a lot like Bush!”
Shit! Shit! Shit! Why’d I go there? What the hell is wrong with me? This comment caused Mikai to explode.
“WHAT?! Like BUSH!? What is wrong with you?! Man, I’m done!” He laid down and pulled the blanket over his head.
“Gonna sit there and say he isn’t a great man. Man, he’s the first black president. That’s great in itself.”
I just stopped talking.
